the saddest love song

i've been lost

for sometime now

ducktape for Ur broken heart

diet c0ke for my dead bones

dunt see me trying

dunt catch fire

open up Ur windows

floating clouds in my dead bones

mezcal and bugs

bugs and traps

i've been lost

since U left

film soup

mud begins to crack

bunny-eared-holy-molly-milk-monkey

call 1312

thank U for Ur service

done with Ur mattress

i never tried to find "the perfect person", i always tried to heal who is in my arms.

little projects floating in my mind so im making them (günce haziran)

 '''''''''''''''''''''''''''

*in august 2020, i collected some palm wood when i was in Bodrum. i doodled on some of them and save the rest for other creations, here we are i made a clay holder for one, and will paint on it. it already looks like a trophy. 

*two little gifts (clay objects prob.) for tunç brothers, will take them with me on my way to Istanbul for this video clip. 

*a found objects sculpture including: palm wood (again) + a white bird's wing (i can't tell the breed, it belongs most likely a white goose, found in our factories garden and there are gooses so,,, it makes sense.)  + clay (obvi air dry, because im cheap....)  + 

* doodles on that su küpü (dunno the name in english) -------inspired by melih çebi <3 ----------------must find a theme,,,,,,,,,,,,,

*try to paint on that mdf boards,,,,,,,,,,,, i should.  i dunno why i talk like yoda, hehe......

*elmaslar ışığı olur gecemin. 

dassit for now. thanku.

sırra hadım etti((((((((((((((((((((((tostiş))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 yorma kendini yorma bak işe yaramaz hiçbi şey görür göz söylemez kimseye içine dolar,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,------------------hiçbi şiy görür göz içine susar ben çok susadım hep dehidrateyim

seni ne tetikler daha bilemedim,,,,,,,, her şey ve çok da spesifik şeyler,,,,,,,,,durduk-yere-ama sen hep alınırsın

herkesin sırrı var hem de ooooohooo

korkma yani, benim? benimhele çok var. bende başkasının sırrı da var napim ki onla atarım bi kenara küflenir bebek pilea yaprağı gibi. erkinize de soxam şamanınıza da. fotoları yakınca noldu,,,,, erdin mi kutsala, neden kinliyim size, nerede benim zen doknuşularım????????????benim için sadece pırlanta mı yoksa, hiç olmayan ve asla istenmeyen

hep çatlamış ilkokulda ayak masada çamur

çatlak çamur hep sır bunlar

sırrıma ortak

derdime kereste

yakyaaakkkkk

çıra kadar değilsin o çok güzel yanar, sen biraz ıslak tahta gibisin.

en güzel ben sana yanar, tütmeden dumanı, çıkmadan is kokusu

ben hep yanar kilo kilo

sen geldin, diyebilecek miyim kim o deyince, 

sen gelsin artık benden ben kalmasın, 

dilsiz dudaksız

elsiz ayaksız

sen geldin

açsana kapıyı

bitmiyo bitmiyo bezlemiyorum altımı değiştirmiyorum pranganı intihardan süslerle kaplı sen hala iskenderunda erbaş o hala pavyon üstü evde paşa. kaşlarımdaki priti silmeyi unuttum drag queen değilim ama çok yakın

i fuckin hate this mf song

i just wanna feel something

so heavy the feeling of not belonging anywhere

im a stranger even to my own skin, my cells dont like me

i just wanna feel something

i just wanted to be welcomed

1. spray cans are full
2. u didnt keep ur promises
3. just gimme some lustral and a cold pillow

i wanna sleep for years 

in peace

i asked the internet 

  *****              *****               *************         ***********                         they gave me 8 reasons *********************************************why i dont belong anywhere

***************************************************************written how i exactly wrote

it was all bullshit

my lungs are heavy

im just sitting here feeling like i ate the whole sky

just heavy fluids and gas

and glitter made of grief

fuck my french dude what do i know-all i do is watching_*_observing

just pure-ass-anxiety /hey dont slide the curtains

i need to see you. look at u. 

iiiiii neeeed some air and bubblegum 

wholesome

and lonesome

thatS my SHHiiEttttt

pure blood

what do i know miss

cat plot

asked why U killed 17-innocent-young-and-little-ppl

answered: i was hearing a voice of the demon, inside my head, he took control over me, if i wasnt goooona kiill 'em, i would have done mé

huffFFFFFFFFF wat i lie, big tiem.........................fuck my english dude enchante

btw:

, 

 "ééééééé "

cat calling men in streets i have a ;dream;

like mr. presidnet.

and the democrats and the faschist and the black panthers, ku klux klan, wu tang clan /////////////////////her şeyin iki yüzü var.///////////////// iyi ve daha az iyi. 

they fight again give me a fucking littlest reason to stay-----------------shoulda run away----decades before (max.2)

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''911 call me sometime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''''''i cried myself to sleep, yeah again, like alwayz, like forever, like, a lie.''''''''''''''''''